HAPPY JUNE

HAPPY JUNE
"Live in such a way that those who know you but don't know God, will come to know God because they know you."

Monday, February 3, 2014

MOM....I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP :(


Hi everyone,

Well....I am not sure what to say here. I am so frustrated and tired that I can't see straight.  

For several days now I have been with mom at the nursing home from 8 to 12 hours at a time. :(  She is so upset.  And when I need to leave at night she cries cause she is afraid to be alone.  What do I do?  How do I help her?

I don't know what is wrong in her brain that makes her have the anxiety like this.  I don't understand why she can't just get mad at it all instead. :(  Do any of you know what is going on in the brain or NOT going on in the brain that is causing the anxiety? And her inability to get past it and carry on?

She doesn't want to take meds.  She just barely agreed to anti parkinson's meds a few months ago.  That was a big leap for her.

She is exhausted too I am sure from a bladder problem that makes her have to go to the bathroom every two hours all day and night. So she can not get a good sleep. There isn't anything to be done about that short of  surgery. Plus she hates the nursing home that she is in. :(

I don't know how to help.  And I can't stay there 24/7.  She needs a nurse to be with her all night or something so she won't be afraid. I don't know if that can work where she is. :(

Please pray for us.

I'm sorry this is an unhappy post. Have a great day and week anyway.  Take care.


5 comments:

  1. I'm sorry Janet. Can her Dr. Not prescribe some kind of sedative? The gentleman in the room next door to Mom is like that. He just hollers all the time that he is alone. Around here the hospital will provide "sitters" for those types of patients.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so sorry, Janet. It really sounds to me like she might be in the early stages of dementia. That often leaves people feeling confused and afraid of being alone. You HAVE to take care of yourself because you can't afford to let yourself be sick. You should not have to stay there all day every day. I KNOW you feel guilty but she will have to learn to spend some time alone. As long as you are acting as a crutch for her she will not learn to spend any time alone and when you do want to leave it will get progressively worse. Any chance there is someone she can share a room with- a roommate situation of some sort? I wish I could be more help. I saw so much of that when I worked in the hospital. It is a hard thing to deal with. Sending up prayers for all of you- xo Diana

    ReplyDelete
  3. Did you know that a bladder infection in older adults can cause mental problems? They can hallucinate and all kinds of things. Have they checked for a UTI? Look it up. She may just need antibiotics.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Janet, my heart goes out to you both.
    What a time you are having ~ did I gather that your hubby is back home now? I hope he, at least is a bit better, tho' I know he has ongoing health troubles
    .
    Reading the comments above, they are all very sensible.
    It's true that a UTI can induce some strange behavoirs in the elderly, so it would be wise to get that checked ~ if your Mom doesn't get on well with tablets you can get antibiotics in liquid form sometimes.
    I know its the emotional side of it that is so upsetting...
    it is true that you must allow yourself some recovery time to do your own home things, rest etc
    Does the home have voluntary befrienders who could step in sometimes?
    It is like leaving a little child, I know, and the more you stay the more you are needed.
    I would say that distraction is a good strategy, maybe someone else could provide something ~ anything~ that she likes a lot ~ when you are NOT there.
    Talk to medical staff as you can about her fear and anxiety, this really needs to be shared and explored with a prfessional or two, she might benefit from mild anti_depressants.
    I am saying all of the above only as a person who has been through something a bit similar with an elderly parent, not as a medic, of course.

    Prayers are there for you, Janet. BIG hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My heart goes out to you. All I can offer, is to pray on your behalf. I will certainly do that.
    You are not alone. Watching our parents age, and go through sadness and misery is so hard. Find a moment to take a deep breath, meditate, and make certain to take care of yourself. There is only so much you can do. Turn your frustrations, and heart ache over to the Lord. I've had a critically ill child, and I know from experience that before you know it, when you are trying to help sick ones resolve health issue, you will become personally emotionally exhausted and physically bankrupt. Then, all that accomplishes, is to make a bad situation worse. Give what you can, but do not let the situation wear you completely down. I promise that it's like trying to save a drowning person out in the middle of the ocean with no life preserver. Soon you are both going down. Let the Lord be your life preserver. Lean on Him.

    {{hugs}}
    Kerin

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for your sweet comments. I always enjoy hearing from you. Have a wonderful day. :)