My hubby Mel had a birthday last week. We went on a drive and stopped to get lunch. We drove through the countryside. Saw nice fields and farmlands and barns. Also crossed a road called Lois Lane. LOL We had a great time.
The sad part. Earlier this same morning I had gotten a call from Mel's sister. She said that she was told that Mel's oldest daughter, Andrea, only 36 years old was in Arizona on life support. :( That was all that she was told at the time.
Later, after we returned from our drive his other daughter called and said that Andrea had passed away. She had developed a blood clot in her leg that traveled to her lungs, then went to her heart (which had a hole in it) and then to her brain. Mel was heart broken as you could imagine.
We haven't seen any of his kids in years as they really don't keep in contact with him. I have never felt like a step mom to them. I think it is so sad and tragic when family members don't speak to each other. :(
There will be a Celebration of Life for Andrea on the 13th. We hope to be able to put together a few thoughts to have read during the service. I hope that Mel is able to remember a little so we can do this. It is difficult because of the strokes he's had.
I hope they can tape it or make a video and send it to us.
Ok, an update on me..... I am on my second 3 weeks on and one week off cycle of cancer meds. I'm feeling fine right now. I had to be off an extra week because my white blood count (wbc) was low. That means my ability to fight off infections was compromised. I had to stay away from everyone for a while. And I have been real tired a lot. I am hoping it won't happen again this time. If it does, I guess we will lower the dose of the chemo pill. I will have labs done this week to check it.
My mom isn't doing well. I think the only time she really eats or drinks anything is when I am there. She has lost weight. She is so frail and weak. I think she is giving up. I don't know what to think, what to pray for. I think I am being a bit selfish in that I am wanting her to hang in there a while more because my sister needs to be in an adult care home or facility that can handle her and her many mental, emotional and physical problems. And be there for her. Right now she is in a hospital. They are trying to find a place for her. It is not easy because of her past. If she had to come up here because mom is 'going' then she would be discharged from the hospital. Then I would have to take her in. She is a 24/7 crisis in motion. I can't deal with that again. :(
I'm sorry this post is so full of sad things.
I know Heavenly Father is here for me. Gosh, without that knowledge I don't know what I'd do. I know He loves me and will strengthen me. I just need to give it all to Him. I need to say Thy will be done, not mine. That is difficult sometimes.
Jesus loves us more that we can ever know. So much so that He was willing to suffer and die to save us from physical and spiritual death.
The physical, mental, emotional and spiritual anguish that He went through for us is beyond our ability to understand. He suffered all the things that we suffer in these ways so that he would know how we feel when we suffer and how to succor or help us when we needed it.
I am so grateful for His sacrifice for me. For His atoning for my sins and for His love. Im grateful for His birth, life and death and what it means for me and all of us.
HE IS RISEN. HE LIVES! And because He lives we too shall live again. What a great gift. Eternal life.
Well, spring is officially here. Here in western Washington it isn't much different than winter or fall. LOL
There is Skagit County we have the Tulip Festival. It is cool. Tulips and daffodils galore. Farms of them as far as the eye can see. :)
Maybe someday we can go see them. Here are a couple of pics from Google of our flowers.
Aren't they lovely?
Now the update. Last Wednesday I started my treatment. Two pills that I have to take until they do the job. One is called Ibrance. It wasn't available when I had the breast cancer 12 years ago. It is the 'chemo' pill. It works different than the regular bad chemo. Instead of going all over your entire body and making you feel lousy this med targets the breast cancer wherever it may be and knocks it out. The breast cancer is in my lungs. It is not lung cancer. That is different. This pill is not suppose to have the bad side effects that regular chemo has.
The other pill is Letrozole. It is an estrogen blocking pill. Estrogen is what this cancer eats to grow. There will be a few side effects though, I have been told with the Ibrance. But they are mild. One is fatigue. Well, I won't know if it effects me that way since I am already so exhausted all the time anyway. lol The usual things that are listed for side effects like nausea, dizziness, diarrhea, vomiting and all that fun stuff are possible too.
I have been a little off balance but I will survive. :)
The estrogen blocking pill could cause hormonal problems they say. I don't know if that will happen as I am way past the hot flashes and etc stage. :)
Anyway the first pill is taken every day for 3 weeks then off for 1 week, then start again. The other is everyday, no stopping.
Then on day 14 I need to do labs to see if it is working and now my white blood cell count is. If it gets low I would be less able to fight infections.
Ok enough of that boring stuff :)
We have found a place for my husband to go so he can be taken care of and so I can take care of just me. Please pray that the paperwork can be done quickly and he can get settled soon, ok?
At the apartment complex where we live we get a monthly newsletter. It announces coming events, rules, recipes and a section called Tex's Tales. Tex is the name of the man who designs and puts the newsletter together. Tex's Tales are funny little jokes and stories. I was thinking that I would like to share these with you. So once in a while, monthly possibly, I will post one for you.
Here is the first one. Cracked me up when I read it. :)
After a hardy West Virginia rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in a puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five-year-old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of the head and shoved his face into the water hole.
As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic. " Why on earth did you do that to your little brother? " she said as she shook the older boy in anger. " We were just playing church, mommy." he said. " I was baptizing him in the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole-he-goes. "
Today, Tuesday is two weeks from when I had the procedure done to remove the fluid from around my lungs and about a week and a half from the day I said in an earlier post was the day that we would have all the results in. Finally today we got the HER2 test back. It is negative, that's a good thing. So official diagnosis...breast cancer, estrogen positive, progesterone positive and HER2 negative. Still don't know what Stage.
So the doctor is going to do ahead with his plan. I will have two pills to take instead of having the awful chemo that wipes me out. I picked up one of the prescriptions at the pharmacy today and the other one I wait for it to come in the mail. That, I think is a bit weird.
I have to wait til I get the other pill before taking any. I will have to go in to do labs once a month. To check the levels and the cancer marker thing. First labs said it was 415 which is waaaaaay high. Last week's labs showed in was up in the 600s. Not sure what to think about that.
So I will have an estrogen blocker pill and the other one will shrink down the tumors I guess. We better get busy with this. Dr said that this way I will not have all the awful side effects like with the regular chemo drugs. Maybe none at all. I do have questions to ask him about that and a few other things. I hope he calls me tomorrow.
My biggest problem is ...well besides coughing alot, is that I am sooooo tired all the time. I hope to get some good sleep tonight. Didn't happen last night because my husband had problems. And tonight I have to stay up a bit longer to get his blood sugar down because it is too high. I hope that won't take too long. I NEED SLEEEEEEEP :)
I hope all of you have a great first day of March. Take care. God bless.
Hi all..The procedure went just fine. I tiny bit of pain but that's it. :) They took at least a liter/ 4 cups of fluid out. It was yellow, that is not unusual. Seemed kinda gross to me to have yellow fluid in lungs. And that's all I will say about that. lol I am breathing better now. Not perfectly but better. Then I got some juice and chicken noodle soup. :)
Friday will be my appt with the cancer Dr to hear results of all the tests and to know for sure what we are dealing with and what the plan of attack is.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
I hope you are all having a nice Valentine's Day. Take care
Hi there, well tomorrow (Tuesday) I get to go to the hospital and get a procedure done that will remove the fluid that has collected in the pleura around my right lung. I was going to show a picture from Google but they all looked a little worse than it actually is. The procedure is called Thoracentesis.
I would have to sit in a chair and lean forward with my arms on a pillow on a table and they would stick a long needle in the back off to the side between the ribs. So I get to wear a lovely hospital gown on top and keep my regular clothes on the bottom. :) It takes about 20 mins to 30 mins. Then after they need to keep an eye on me for about an hour. They need to see if more fluid builds up and if it does how quick it does.
Then it goes to pathology to have it checked for cancer cells. Then they can tell what type of cancer. This they can tell right away. They also have to take a little longer to examine it to tell what stage it is in. I have a friend that is taking me and bringing me home.
Then when I get back its right to taking care of my hubby. I talked to a lady today and she is going to start checking around to find a place for him to live. Please pray that is works outs sooner than later. :)
Gotta run. Lots to do and have to get a good sleep tonight. Wish me luck on that. lol
Well....I have been sitting on this news for a couple of weeks because I wasn't sure what to say. This may be a bit long.
Rewind to April 2004. My husband had his first of several strokes. We had to move into town from the mountains, my favorite place. And my son was doing basic training in the Army National Guard.
Fast forward a bit to September of 2004....I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Had chemo that wiped me out. Surgery that left the 'girls' lop-sided, (they're both still there just not exactly twins anymore). More chemo. Then radiation that was a piece of cake compared to the chemo. It took an entire year to get through it. Then I also had to take an estrogen blocking pill for 5 years to starve off any cancer cells that were still hanging around. And my son got deployed to Iraq just after Christmas. He was very worried about me and didn't want to go. But he went and we emailed every day except when they had communication black outs.
So life went on. In the mean time my husband had several more strokes, kidney failure and went on dialysis. He is also diabetic and we have problems with high blood sugar. I have become a 24/7 CNA because there are many things that he can not do for himself. And if you don't know what a CNA does google it. Or NAC they are called now. Everything they get to do I do. EVERYTHING. I have been doing this for a couple of years.
Also mom is in a nursing home and gets anxiety attacks and calls me every 5 mins of day or night sometimes. And sister is in a home, finally, but still has problems that I have to deal with. Whew! Makes me tired just thinking of all this.
Twelve years later January-February 2017...it's baaaaaack.
Few months ago in September I had pneumonia and it just kept wearing me down. And it wouldn't go away. Had a second xray in January. It didn't look good so the Dr ordered a CT. There is fluid around one lung and a few tumors scattered about both lungs. I have a procedure set for next Tuesday to get some or all of the fluid drained. If we are lucky there will be enough to examine and find out type of cancer and what stage it is. Cancer Dr is saying 95% sure that it is the breast cancer again. After we find out then he will start treatment.
He said that I won't have chemo or radiation this time. He will have me take two pills on a daily basis for a while. Ok no chemo, that's ok with me. No radiation, that's ok with me too. I just need to ask more about how the meds work, how long, and other stuff I don't remember at the moment. I am not really worried about it. I guess I should be. I wasn't worried the first time. All I asked then when I found out was ...ok so what do we do next?
My only problem is that I need to rest and get my strength back. Taking care of my husband has wore me out. And I need to get him to understand that I can't do it anymore. He has to go to a nursing home so they can take care of him. I need to not have any " have to's" in my life now. Like when he wants something I HAVE TO get it. Or when he has a "accident" I HAVE TO take care of him.
I need to be able to not do something if I don't feel well enough to do it. I need to be able to make appts without having to make them around his dialysis schedule or worry about leaving him home alone for too long if the Dr has only one appt time available.
Ok, I'm done. Sorry this is so long and so disjointed and that all I am doing is whining (sp?). And sorry this is horrible for some of you to hear. Or that it makes you upset. I guess I just needed to get it all out.
Besides all this....life is good. God is good. And I am glad that He is always there for me. :) I don't know how anyone could get through something like this without Him. It would be so hard for them. :(
Thank you for stopping by and always being here for me too :) I love to read your comments. It makes my day. And I love stopping by to see you too. My sweet talented blogging friends. OXO
Hi everyone, I know that Groundhog's Day was on the 2nd. But remember the movie where the day kept repeating it's self? :)
Those of you who know me, how I love winter and the cold and the snow will probably wonder if I am ill or something when I say this...but I am ready for spring. I really am not a fan of the winters up here. One can just get chilled to the bone because of the humidity. I am use to dry winters like in Utah and Wyoming where I have lived most of my life. We have very cold winters there. Twenty or more below zero at times and it is ok. I'm comfortable. Really.
I have never gotten pneumonia before and I have been dealing with it since the end of September (along with other things I will tell you about soon) I think because of this weather. I hope all of that made since. Or at least, some of it.
So anyway this winter stuff has to go. Shame on you Phil for seeing your shadow!
Not much else to say today. Been just a bit run down and worn out from taking care of my husband while fighting this cold.
A sweet blogging friend reminded me of something today. Lecia at FARMHOUSE PRIMS does great needle punch work. She a very sweet and talented person. Please stop by her blog. Click here
She is working on a new project that shows pics of back when hanging your clothes out on a line to dry was the thing to do. I love the thought of air dried clothes and long to be back in the mountains were the air is clean and fresh and be able to hang my clothes out.
My grandma and grandpa...
....had a clothes line in the back yard. It looked like this.
I think there was a metal tube it fit in that was put in the ground so it would stay up. And when not in use the hole was covered.
I remember also I think, that grandma used one of these til she couldn't wash clothes anymore and had them sent out....
Oh my goodness....I just googled that. You have to go there. Google old washing machines. It will make you glad you have the machines you have. I complain about the stackable one we have in our apartment. It is uncomfortable to bend and try to get clothes out because I bang my head on the lid that doesn't go all the way up because the dryer is up there. LOL I should be grateful I don't have all the work that Grandma had AND that I don't have to go to the public laundromat. Something that I did have to do just 3 years ago. Anyway google old washing machines....we've come a long way baby...as the saying goes :)
Well I should go. Take care, everyone. Have a great week. Hugs
I am a christian. I love reading the scriptures. I love discussing doctrinal topics. I like the rustic mountain life. Primitive crafts and decor. And I am totally addicted to crocheting and loom knitting. Winter is my favorite time of year. I like sitting by the fireplace with a cup of hot chocolate. I also love the smell of bread baking. We used to live in the Uinta mountains in northern Utah. It was lovely there and I miss so much.